the little house of deceit

The little house- Jean Francois de Bastide

'it cautioned her against men who could orchestrate so many talents to express a sentiment that they could barely capable of themselves. Although Melite made note of this suspicion, her mind stored it at the bottom of her heart, where it soon would be lost. Tremicour sought out those thoughts with his piercing gaze, and destroyed them with his signs, No longer was she sure that he was a man she could confidently reproach for the monstrous disparity between his desires and deeds . He said nothing, yet his eyes spoke many promises. Still, Melite doubted his sincerity; she was now able to see how well he could feign, and felt how that such dangerous art in such a charming place exposed one to no end of treacherous temptations. to dispel this fearful thought, Melite moved away from Marquis toward one of the mirrors and with the help of this trick was able to watch her even more tenderly, without her having to look away."

I am not smart enough to play, not sharp enough to dart, not alert enough to jump. Not tough enough.

"there was this one time when i truly regretted. there was this girl 2 years older than me. i had this crush on her but i didnt dare look at her or tell her. one day, she sat beside me and asked me why i didnt dare to look at her. She wanted me to confess. Confess to her about my crush on her. but i just kept quiet. she announced that she is attached and asked me how i felt. i said :" ok lor." I mean what else could i say? what was i suppose to say but "ok lor". she wanted to give me a chance and i know. but "ok lor". "

"You wanted her to woo you right. an ego problem."

"yes."

why ah. why like that. these stories are trophies he want to collect. whatever for. i dont understand. i cant say she didnt matter to him. she did. but why? whats wrong in admitting? you will just rot and melt and dissolve in your seat is it? fuck the ego.

leave me alone.