Saturday, May 30, 2009

what if the Panopticon turns Bath house?

The idea surrounds the question of private and public spaces. from surveillance to display.

social issue: paranoia (terrorism) --> physical intimacy (communication via technology/ match making services)

eh. ya. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i dont know. Panopticon failed as a prison. But if its a bath house with abit of minor changes.. what would it be like?

is it too far fetched? relevant? i just need somewhere to start from.

J-J-Jaded

trust.
maybe its going to be another a-incident.
losing so much faith.


focus...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

you are the centre of my universe


i better find a better caption.
sounds so gross and not seductive at all. freak.... argh.

the little house of deceit



The little house- Jean Francois de Bastide


'it cautioned her against men who could orchestrate so many talents to express a sentiment that they could barely capable of themselves. Although Melite made note of this suspicion, her mind stored it at the bottom of her heart, where it soon would be lost. Tremicour sought out those thoughts with his piercing gaze, and destroyed them with his signs, No longer was she sure that he was a man she could confidently reproach for the monstrous disparity between his desires and deeds . He said nothing, yet his eyes spoke many promises. Still, Melite doubted his sincerity; she was now able to see how well he could feign, and felt how that such dangerous art in such a charming place exposed one to no end of treacherous temptations. to dispel this fearful thought, Melite moved away from Marquis toward one of the mirrors and with the help of this trick was able to watch her even more tenderly, without her having to look away."

I am not smart enough to play, not sharp enough to dart, not alert enough to jump. Not tough enough.

"there was this one time when i truly regretted. there was this girl 2 years older than me. i had this crush on her but i didnt dare look at her or tell her. one day, she sat beside me and asked me why i didnt dare to look at her. She wanted me to confess. Confess to her about my crush on her. but i just kept quiet. she announced that she is attached and asked me how i felt. i said :" ok lor." I mean what else could i say? what was i suppose to say but "ok lor". she wanted to give me a chance and i know. but "ok lor". "

"You wanted her to woo you right. an ego problem."

"yes."

why ah. why like that. these stories are trophies he want to collect. whatever for. i dont understand. i cant say she didnt matter to him. she did. but why? whats wrong in admitting? you will just rot and melt and dissolve in your seat is it? fuck the ego.

leave me alone.



Tuesday, May 26, 2009

u disappeared.

one of those days where you want to go home. and just slum in the beanie and sleep.

i dont have a beanie.

sleep on the floor.

k. night

Monday, May 25, 2009

FOR YOU!!!

BADLY DONE.. BUT SUPPOSED TO BE..

WITH ALL PINKIE PUN INTENDED

like a Virgin...


haha. our first try on lomo. i really am beginning to like it.

i understand why. nth more powerful than falling in love all over again.

like a virgin, touch for the very first time... like a vir - ah - vir- gin when your your beat next to mine.......

how silly.

XING HENG.... HAHAHAHAL.. ITS ALL A SCAM.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

i just called to say i love you




i lost my W...
but in anycase. its beautiful...
surreal. ok. will touch up tmr. =)
night.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

thanks.

had lomo pics developed. really nice picture of us. cant believe it. yeah. strangely satisfying. old sch pics.

indian foooood was good. remembered gd old santa cruz days where we stuffed ourselves at the indian buffet. haha. awesome.

i want to be a drummer now...... haha. guitar heroes is addictive. i want the drum set. i want to marry a drummer.

our affection for other people come in all sorts of forms. appreciate them even when it doesnt come in the way you like it. usually it doesnt. at the end of the day, you'll be upset if they leave when you dont reciprocate. TRYING.

i will take care of myself.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I have more faith in myself than a 100 men.

i cant believe i worked til so late. It seems unbelieveable that time could travel that fast.

i want more. more than anything else.

and at the end of the day,

to have someone to go home to.

to have nice dinner at home.

to go to bed.

how pathetic....... for the sense of security.

maybe one day, these comforts will be gone.

thats pathetic.

Monday, May 18, 2009

first day at work

my ears drums will explode.

lung cancer and die even though i dont smoke. (wish I cld)


i started on learning to learn detailing. yeah. good sign.

slow. but surely.

time to do anything.

thks celes


growing up.

we wont stop. alright.

it matters to me but i know. we'll find our own way.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

maybe that only happen in tv dramas.

never mind. take care.

or maybe they just fast forward our lives in general.

so dramatic.

i dont understand you.

probably the best is to ignore.pretend.disguise.

greys season 5 finale

Meredith: amanda, you cant be out here.
amanda: Would you want to be all alone at a time like this? We had 30seconds of interaction before he saved my life and... it wasnt even nice. I was standing at a corner when this ordinary guy stands next to me and smiles and i am co busy scoping for someone hotter that i didnt even give him a second look.The next thing i know, he throws me out of a way of a bus i am going to walk in front in and i almost get myself killed. He literally, swept me off my feet. That is my prince in that bed.
Meredith: ok. you can stay till the end of surgery.

did you say it
I love you
I dont ever want to live with you
you changed my life

did you say it

make a plan.
set a goal.
work towards it
but every now and then
look around
drink it in

Cause this is it

It might all be gone tomorrow.

Friday, May 15, 2009

RE: spiders, Hippo, Thrash bags

WE ALWAYS LOVE YOU !!!
SEE YOU LATER !!

Re: spiders


Sorry ra. i thrashed bad spider for you.

Better now?

oh wait. i forgot to put some rubbish in your hands. hahahahaaaaa.. sorry. but its really funny.

you told me to do happy things......................

To Spider, Ra with L-O-V-E


brushes are amazing.....

Ra. this is for you. Spider Ra. =)

i promise you that this spider will love you
she wont give up on you
she'll stick to you no matter what
and
she'll never disappoint you.

good spider.

hahaha.

LOVE,
spider

or this?

this?

this?


better?

ya





i dont understand.

whats so difficult abt it.

just doesnt feel right.

START... somewhere.



happy belated birthday Shanming... =)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

It's time



Wednesday, May 13, 2009

thanks

Bright eyes- perfect sonnet

Lately I've been wishing I had one desire
Something that would make me never want another
Something that would make it so that nothing mattered
All would be clear then
But I guess I'll have to settle for a few brief moments
And watch it all dissolve into a single second
And try to write it down into a perfect sonnet
or one foolish line
'Cause that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept
You are here then you're gone
But I believe that lovers should be tied together and
Thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather
and left there to drown
Left there to drown in their innocence
But as for me I'm coming to the final chapter
I read all of the pages and there is still no answer
Only all that was before I know must soon come after
That is the only way it can be
So I stand in the sun
And I breathe with my lungs
Trying to spare me the weight of the truth
Saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror
And you've spent your whole life sweating in an endless fever
And now you are laying in a bathtub full of freezing water
Wishing you were a ghost
But once you knew a girl and you named her Lover
And danced with her in kitchens through the greenest summer
But autumn came, She disappeared
You can't remember where she said she was going to
But you know that she's gone 'cause she left you a song
That you don't want to sing
We're singing I believe that lovers should be chained together
And thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
And left there to burn
Left there to burn in their arrogance
But as for me I'm coming to my final failure
I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better
But I ended up becoming something other than what I had planned to be
Now I believe that lovers should be draped in flowers
And layed entwined together on a bed of clover
And left there to sleep
Left there to dream of their happiness

contribution from kit. thanks man. one great man.

haha.

ok. i have a weird obsession. i love movie scripts. first one on the list was Phantom of the Opera. You have no idea how many times i read it. Over and over again. I can sing it for you. 2nd is Fight club. this brilliant guy just spent the entire month, year all his time to type out this wonderful script. though it might be imperfect, we all know the story. its ok.

isnt it awesome?

United States, 1999
U.S. Release Date: 10/15/99 (wide)
Running Length: 2:19
MPAA Classification: R (Graphic violence, sex, nudity, profanity)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Cast: Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf, Jared Leto
Director: David Fincher
Producers: Ross Bell, Cean Chaffin, Art Linson
Screenplay: Jim Uhls, based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk
Cinematography: Jeff Cronenweth
Music: The Dust Brothers
U.S. Distributor: 20th Century Fox

cinematography and the plot is just awesome. Jim Uhls....

its raining.


I want to sell a lifestyle. BE a narcissistic.

I want to be an interior designer.

i want to be a fashion designer.

I want to learn detailings.

I want to start.

I want Us.

Night

Sunday, May 10, 2009

the colour Test

See yourself as others see you...

You have always been on the move seeking affectionate, satisfying and harmonious
relationships. Your ultimate goal has been the realisation of an intimate union in which there
could be love, self-sacrifice and mutual trust. It has often been said that 'True love is just
around the corner' and - if you haven't found it as yet - you possibly soon will.
You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against
the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have
been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a
relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the
need to put on a false front.
Recent disappointment has led you to become truly introverted. You are becoming
suspicious of everybody and consequently you now feel that you are unable to trust
anybody. Unfortunately it would appear that you are curbing your natural enthusiasm and
imaginative nature - perhaps this is because you are fearful that you may become over
enthused and find that you could possibly be carried away by wishful thinking. You are
keeping your distance to see whether attitudes towards you are sincere - but this
watchfulness could easily develop into suspicion and distrust.
There are times of everyone's life when 'compromise' is the name of the game and this is
the time, so you have no alternative but to forgo some pleasures for the time being. You are
capable of achieving satisfaction through physical activity.
You are a fighter and always on the defensive. You always need to be sure that your
position is safe and established. When you finally make a decision you will pursue it to the
bitter end in spite of all opposition.

www.goldinuniverse.com

why?

Monday, May 4, 2009

Missed

come back quick. time pass faster. next year this time.

hols are kinda a dread to me. these are the days where you really want them to come and you already have this set of to-do list. and everyday, it just seems wasted away. oh dear. haiz. at least i applied to one firm and hopefully, they want me. hopefully.

i dont understand. maybe its just me. at the end of the day, be happy. =)

Depeche Mode - Somebody

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
Those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

home to Vancouver to home 2























home to Vancouver to home 1